Needs
by AngelKittyofLove
Summary: Makoto's thinks with Rin's return, Haruka doesn't need him anymore. Warnings: Char. Death, Suicide. Not a ship fic.


_No longer… I'm no longer needed._

Makoto sat on the swing, a starry sky stretching above him. The playground had been abandoned for many years before he and Haru had stumbled upon it in elementary school. The swing creaked loudly as Makoto pushed himself forward and back, his long legs prevented the swing from swinging itself.

_Creak creak._ It was starting to get cold. Maybe he should head on home; his parents would understand his need to stay out later as he was older, but his younger siblings would probably refuse to sleep unless he tucked them in. Maybe it was time for them to grow up and take care of themselves. Just like Haru.

Haru was finally making decisions for himself. Makoto had known all along that one day, Rin would come back and Haru would choose the redhead over him. Rin was what drove Haru to get stronger and swim faster. It wasn't because of Makoto. Nothing was ever because of Makoto.

He, himself, had always wondered if his drive to protect Haru was simply an obsession because Haru could protect him from all the scary things just like a magic charm. Or maybe it was because he wanted to make sure Haru wouldn't disappear one day into the dark water like so many things had. _You wanted to swim some more, didn't you. _He never wanted those words to run through his mind again.

But he didn't need to protect Haru any longer. Rin was there to do that. He saw it, the curious look in his eyes that Haru had whenever Rin was around. And when Rin returned from Australia, Haru finally found his motivation to continue swimming. But this was only when Rin was around. Haru didn't need him. Haru didn't need someone who was scared of water, the one thing he loved most, to be around. Even though Rin didn't _love_ water like Haru, _at least he wasn't scared of it._

Maybe… maybe it would be better if he just disappeared. With Haru's eyes focused on Rin, he wouldn't be missed. Rei and Nagisa were too preoccupied with each other. Ama-chan-sensei was busy with school, and Kou… she was also thinking about Rin, wasn't she. There wasn't a place for him anymore. He wouldn't be missed, when all eyes were trained on someone else.

He raised his hand, watching without his usual smile at the starry sky through his fingers. His large hands had once been needed to take care of Haru. Now they were utterly useless. They, along with him, were of no value any longer.

Like in a trance, Makoto brought his arm back down and stood up. Though he had a large build, there was nothing inside of him, only emptiness.

_There was a cliff around here right?_

But what would his siblings think? Makoto smiled, just a bit, when he thought of the two of them. They were old enough by now to take care of themselves, but their admiration for him never seemed to end. However, he knew that one day, they would hardly spare glances at them when they found their significant other.

_It's the reason they closed the playground. It should be here… ah! Found it._

The drop was pretty long, he noted. Hopefully it wouldn't hurt too mu–

"Makoto!" He turned, he had just been about to step off the edge.

"Haru…?" Haruka's blue eyes were wide, his sensitive nature telling him to be cautious as just one wrong word could set off his friend.

"Makoto, come over here." He kept his tone calm and commanding, trying to call Makoto over like he would a cat. Makoto almost did as he was told.

"Oi! Haruka! Don't just run off like that!" _Rin._ The redhead burst out from the unkempt foliage surrounding the park. "What was that all about– oh."

Their eyes met, Makoto's green and Rin's red.

_Oh._

Haruka tensed, the situation had suddenly gotten tenser and much more dangerous, but he relaxed like every other time Makoto gave him that soft and understanding smile. It was his biggest mistake.

Makoto dived in like he did during a swim meet, strong and determined. Ironically, to disappear into the place he was scared of.

His eyes were closed, waiting for the painful impact of either rocks or water to hit him.

_You don't need me any longer. I'm not needed. No one… no one needs me anymore._

* * *

_"Makoto."_

It was such a soft sound, he could barely hear it.

_"Makoto!" Haru?_

_"Goddammit! What was he thinking, even if it wasn't that high, jumping off a cliff is dangerous!" Rin._

The feeling of floating ceased as he felt someone move his body onto a more solid ground, then lifted onto someone's lap.

_"Makoto! Wake up!" Should he open his eyes? He felt tired, moving… he didn't want to._

_"Oi! Haru! Ambulance! We need to call one… phone is dead, got waterlogged…" Were the voices getting quieter? "Don't shake him! If he falls from that height, his organs… broken bones…"_

The sky was filled with stars. Except this time, Haruka was there too.

"Haru…" But Haruka swam in an out of his vision, the view fading to black then reappearing out of focus. "Haru…"

"Makoto! Does it hurt? An ambulance will be coming soon… just… just hold on!" _Haru's looking at me isn't he? I'm so happy. But don't look so sad…_

"Haru… why are you crying? Don't… don't cry." Thinking hurt so much. Why couldn't he move and hold Haru's hand when he needed it most? _I'm so useless._

"Oi! The ambulance is coming, just hang on for a bit longer!" Makoto vaguely felt a pressure on his abdomen and arm. "Shit! Are we supposed to put pressure on head wounds too?"

_Rin. _"Rin…"

"Yeah? What is it?"

"Take care of Haru, alright?" He was seeing black much more often now.

"Take care of him yourself!" It was too bad; he wanted to watch Haru's face for just a little longer.

"Haru… make sure not to be late to school… and to eat properly… make sure to shower after swimming or else you'll catch a cold…"

"Just remind him yourself!" Sirens blared, but Makoto didn't hear them. "Oi! Over here!" He only saw Haru's pained face and felt warm tears drip onto his cheeks.

Then it was over.

* * *

A white cloth covered Makoto and Haruka sat next to the body. Rin had left him to think by himself.

Haruka wondered if Makoto knew that tears had been pouring out from his green eyes that begged for Haruka to keep looking at him. He had known all this time about Makoto's obsession with him needing the man to take care of him.

Maybe he should have mentioned that Rin's caretaking would never surpass Makoto's and that he had hoped the three of them could be friends again like they were in the past.

* * *

End.


End file.
